STARTING TO WRITE: The Secret Rules of Writing Golden Dialogue

Want to write better, snappier, clearer, more empathetic…in fact…golden dialogue? 

There are rules that help you succeed. They're not exactly 'secret' but certainly they can only be found 'under the counter'. Here they are.

Handled with energy, dialogue can turn a good story into a winning story.  Readers like a lot of dialogue because it spaces out the words on the page, easing the reader’s eye, but it is also one of the best ways of creating living characters. Dialogue is crucial to modern writing and can be as fast-paced and exciting as action.

Perhaps a definition of what dialogue is might get us started. Dialogue always takes place between at least 2 characters, just as real conversations involve at least 2 people. 

If you are a little uncertain that the dialogue you write enables your characters to build their personalities and engage with their readers, you might try the series of exercise we are going to look at in this blog and take note of the Seven Golden Rules we're going to examine. 

The First Golden Rule:

Dialogue must never be written for its own sake

This is one rule that will help you construct conversations you can be proud of: To prevent your characters unwittingly breaking this rule is simple. Always be sure that any conversation you create has at least one of the following functions:

• Impart information 
• enrich the characterization
• move the plot along 
• develop the characters further within the story 
• further the complexities of the plot 
• crank up the pace,
• enhance the theme or core truth 
• reflect relationship changes and emotions

Kitchen Table Exercise one

Take your notebook to a specific location of your choice where people move or linger, such as a gallery, a country park, a shopping mall. Sit with your notebook closed and observe the way people use the area, listening to snippets of conversation, but also inventing the ‘follow ons’ you don’t actually hear. Think about body language especially, and also reactions to the place. Try to see the place through the eyes of the people there. Start making jotted snatches of dialogue scenes, using what you see and what you hear about you.

Golden Rule two: 

For dialogue to feel natural, it can’t ever be natural. 

Real conversation is dull and repetitive. People stutter, or forget a word. They don’t quite catch what others say, interrupt themselves with inconsequential, often illogical comments, and go off the point, changing subjects, becoming irrelevant. Real people trip over their words and produce poor syntax that sounds unintentionally comic. In fact real speech is 80% inconsequential; humdrum data of living, and at least 10% more is in shorthand, because we know the other person so well, we don’t need to use full speech to get in tune with them – it’s how we human’s mostly communicate. 

Having listened to people chatting in the mall, you will now be aware that prose dialogue cannot be transcribed directly from real speech – the writer must edit it. As well as smoothing over the verbose cracks, this editing should smooth the ride by breaking up longer speeches with description, action and observation.

To put this succinctly, for dialogue to feel natural, it can’t ever be natural. This is something that is learnt as one reads, writes and listens, and the more dialogue one writes, the easier it becomes. Try listening to conversations then transposing them into dialogue to help enhance this skill.

Start a new piece of dialogue between two characters you're working with, or would like to create. But instead of setting it out in the normal format for dialogue, set it out as a script. To create a strong rhythm, emulating the simple A, B, pattern for your two speakers. This can be very liberating, and should at least persuade you to create a scene, with dialogue, if you find yourself generally writing exposition. It will also encourage the dialogue writer who is having trouble with Rule Two  to get into a good A B tempo. Make sure you are naturally changing the line length of each speaker at will__________________________________________________

Golden Rule Three;

Dialogue should be pertinent to the character’s personality.

Don’t allow the character to talk with your voice; they need their own. Don’t allow all the characters to sound the same; this is an ‘early’ mistake and one that can be spotted by reading your work aloud. Try to ‘get into the shoes’ of the person speaking, so that it’s their words on the page…not the writer’s. Allow various characters to have differing speech patterns, but do not go overboard with this; it can lead to reader irritation. Be particularly careful about accent or dialect; use one small thing that can exemplify the speech pattern and leave it at that. Keep well clear of phonic representation. If you read Christopher Brookmyre’s crime fiction, you will see a master of this skill at work, but his passages of lowland Scottish dialect are often difficult to follow.

Kitchen Table Exercise Three

Place a character you’re working with, or hoping to work with, in a situation where they have to talk. Think about how they would react. Not how you'd react, but them. 

See things through your character’s eyes. You don’t need to link this with any writing you’re doing at the moment. This time, use what you’re seeing and hearing alongside what you are imagining. Now is your chance to allow your character to speak as this individual might. Think about this person before you start, and all the way through writing the piece. Allow them to speak to another character, or in some other way, if it helps.____________________________________________

Golden Rule Four: 

Be careful how you impart information

Although Golden Rule One states that dialogue can be used to impart information, keep that fact hidden, otherwise speech will sound ‘stagey. Staged dialogue is speech where we overhear characters telling us something the writer wants the reader to know, but the characters already know, usually in creaking speeches...

‘How are you Mary?’ asked Sue. 

‘Well,’ said Mary. ‘Since the death of John, six months ago, I’ve been very depressed.’

How do you overcome these problems? One way is to use interior monologue:

‘How are you Mary?’ Sue knew that Mary had been depressed since John’s death, but

even so, she was hoping for more than a grim sigh in answer to her question. 

‘No better, to be honest with you,’ said Mary.

Another is to wrack your brains for a more ‘natural’ approach:

 ‘How are you Mary?’

 ‘No better.’

 ‘What is it now...six months?’

 ‘Yes. But it’s like John’s about to walk in the door any moment.’

Another approach I recommend is not to worry too much about imparting this sort of information in the first place. Readers like mystery, even if the story isn’t actually genre mystery. They like to be teased, so long as the mystery is solved somewhere along the line:

‘How are you Mary?’

‘No better.

‘What’s it now? Six months?’

Sue gave a grim sigh. ‘Feels like six years sometimes and six hours at others.’

Here's another place stagy dialogue rears its head:

‘As you already know, Henry, the polyribodigestive test tube results are outstanding. And you also know that we’ve found a guinea pig for the transplant experiment among the staff  - at least, when we say guinea pig, of course, we mean flunky.’ Henry’s assistant leered at him...

Kitchen Table Exercise Four

Search through previous pieces of your writing to find some dialogue that now, you might consider 'staged'. Try rewriting it. By treating characters and their dialogue as if the story grew organically out of the world they inhabit, you will find yourself naturally only giving your reader only just enough information detail. ‘Just enough’ can be interpreted as ‘far less than you first imagine they’ll need’. For a start, you don’t want to write down to them, or treat them as fools. But also, they will be quite happy to read along, delighting in finding the details are revealed bit by bit, in just the same way as the example of Mary’s bereavement. 

Golden Rule Number Five 

Who Should be Talking?

It is a standard guideline, especially for short stories, that a conversation should not be reported directly on a page unless a key (focus) character is in it – in other words, characters your story cannot do without. Clearly, both the protagonist and the antagonist are essential characters, but it is up the writer to decide which other characters are key. In actually deciding this, it is quite a good idea to pose the question the opposite way round; which of your characters could actually carry dialogue as the main character in that scene? Crucially, the template is that no scene, no conversation, should take place without one or more facets of the First Golden Rule; and if only minor characters are in that conversation, that is unlikely to be so to any degree.

Kitchen Table Exercise Five

Take any piece of writing you are working on, or any you have completed. Look through it, to check to see who  is driving any dialogue and whether they are an essential character. If you find any dubious conversations, ask yourself; does this work? Do I need to re-evaluate the need for this conversation? Is the dialogue going to hold a reader? Does it follow Golden Rule One?______________________

Golden Rule Six:

How speech tabs should be used

Careful handling in the use of ‘tabs’ – the ‘he/she saids’ of dialogue – will really help your dialogue to have a great rhythm and flow. .

 

Tags are the verbal additions that describe who/how the dialogue functions. They are sometimes very hard to get just right. The secret is to use ‘said’ as much as you possibly can. This is because it is almost invisible and readers skip over it. It is a functional necessity that does its job like a postman...never really seen. 

If you can get rid of a tag altogether, that often creates fast-past dialogue – very useful if the scene is also fast-paced.  Also try to break up the tabs by using actions to get a good rhythmic flow… ‘It think it’s time,’ Simon took a sip of his espresso, ‘to talk about the contract.’  By sticking to ‘said’, you will avoid overuse of other tag verbs (muttered, added, chattered, etc).The less you use, the smoother and more readable will your work be; even the most common tags (asked, called, whispered etc), should be cherry-picked; try not to have more than a couple in any patch of dialogue. Some verbs should never be used because they don’t function well as tags at all – laughed is the most common of those...it is almost impossible to laugh and talk at the same time. Chuckle and smiled can be ‘got away with’ but constantly check that certain characters don’t spend all their time smiling as they speak, for instance. Oh, and don't ruin all that good 'tab' work by adding an adverb. Don't tell us the character said something 'bravely'; show us that bravery through the words they use. 

Kitchen Table Exercise Six

Spend ten minutes writing a new conversation between two old characters. Perhaps these characters have never met in your previous fiction, or maybe they are already aware of each other. Whichever scenario you chose, make sure this is new dialogue. Free write the conversation first. Then read through it. How did you use speech tabs? Are you already an old hand at getting the dialogue rhythm right with a varied amount of tabs, no tabs, action instead of tabs? Do you mostly stick to 'said'?

Golden Rule Seven:

Dialogue should be brief and clear. fascinating and multi-tasked. 

Brief and clear. Make sure you keep in control of what comes out of character’s mouths. As it progresses, dialogue must take the reader by the hand, and lead their thoughts in the direction you the writer want them to go. This is why it must never ramble away from the point it’s trying to make, even in an attempt to enhance any of the golden rule. Keep conversation tightly on the subject in hand

At almost no stage of your writing should any character speak for more than three or four lines. That is not to say that this character might have a longer speech to give, and yes, they can give it, but they should be interrupted in various ways. Try to allow the dialogue to be visual so we can see the characters as they speak, breaking up the speech patterns with action, interior thought processes, description of character, etc.  But it must never ‘feel’ broken up. To achieve this, create a rhythm to the dialogue sections, a feel that has a lyrical sensation. Avoid repeated beginnings, and break down repetitive ‘tab’ patterns that might annoy a reader. 

Fascinating.  Even if the personality you’ve given your character is dull, their speech should not be. If your reader wants to listen to inane speech, they can tune into a TV chat show! Real conversation is pedestrian or repetitive at times because we have to think on our feet while talking. But characters should stand out on the page, and in the same way their dialogue should be larger (although never more grandiose), than real conversation. Characters (or rather their writer) have the luxury of something the rest of us do not have – the chance to think through what they say and say exactly what they mean (presuming they intend to say what they mean...). Polish and buff their speech to create fascinating dialogue.

Multi-tasked. Multi-tasking in dialogue writing is the major area where real conversation alters significantly from dialogue in fiction. It should constantly be focused on that first golden rule – all dialogue should further the story in at least one way from that list – if you can make that two, or three, you are beginning to understand how to multi-task your dialogue. Don’t just let conversations enrich developing characters, make it move the plot along and further its complexities at the same time. And although not every conversation is going to crank up the pace or enhance the theme of the story, make sure some dialogue achieves this – especially towards the end of a short story and at least half way through a novel. Part of this ‘cranking up’ may also reflect emotions, etc into good measure.

Kitchen Table Exercise Seven. 

Tap into your writer’s imagination by imagining dialogue when you're not at your writing stations Tune in to your character’s conversations. You may find what they say when they think you are out of earshot will surprise you and add richness to your story

While you are still learning your writing trade, it does not harm to check the golden rules each time you’ve created dialogue, especially when this is a longer chunk of conversation between characters, because this can feel a very complex aspect of writing creatively. 

But remember, your first draft does not have to be perfect. You can continue to experiment with dialogue, change it and allow it to grow.

Would a Publisher want Your Creative Non-Fiction?

 

So, you're writing something that is non-fiction, and you're beginning to think that a publisher might be interested.

How does that work?

If your writing project is creative non-fiction you can get ahead of novel writers! A proposal, rather than a synopsis, is how you direct yourself at a prospective publisher, and you can send this in as soon as you're sure of your subject.

It may feel a little premature to be thinking about writing your proposal before you’ve completed your book. But established writers of non-fiction write their proposals almost before they’ve written anything else; for them, this part of the process falls alongside imagining and planning their new work. They may do some research and complete a couple of sample chapters to accompany the proposal, but acceptance of the proposal by their publishing house will initiate the work that needs to be done, not complete it.

Writers of fiction work in a diametrically opposite way; even established novelists accept that a synopsis is only as complete as the book itself. A novel may transform at any stage of its development, but non-fiction usually has a basic statement of intent that can be identified early on in the process. Most pieces of creative non-fiction, therefore, need a written proposal ahead of submitting the work itself for mainstream publication. 

How it worked for Kate Williams

The historian and writer Kate Williams’ first biography grew out of a dissertation study into Emma Hamilton, before she'd even finished the degree she was studying. The Infamous Life of Emma Hamilton (2006) began when Williams was sifting through old letters in the British Library. "...a book started to form in my mind…I sat on my idea for Emma throughout the autumn, convinced that I would never be allowed to write a biography – I was too young, not sufficiently well-connected. Just before Christmas I plucked up the courage to send a few words about myself, Emma and the material I’d found to an agent who represented a friend of a friend. To my shock, he replied almost immediately. If I wrote a proposal, he said, he’d sell it for me...

In a windswept Little Chef in North Wales, on the way to collect my grandfather for Christmas, I told my father that I had a chance of becoming an author. He didn’t believe me. I barely believed it myself. (Emma and I, Williams, Mslexia, issue 32, 2007)

What should a book proposal look like?

Its elements will vary according to the type of book and the type of publisher, but it will generally follow the following suggestions:

• It should be double-spaced and clearly laid out

• Title page

• Contents of proposal

• Introduction

• Market (predicted readership, competition, useful statistics)

• CV (especially why you’re qualified to write this book)

• Format (overview, style, structure, organisation, rough word count)

• Chapter-by-chapter summary in a logical order

• Sample chapter(s) if requested

• Promotional suggestions

• Resources needed for completion

• A lively overview of the proposal – end on an upbeat note.

For example...

Sarah Booksmith has decided to write about her work with a London charity for the homeless called The Place. What she's planning isn’t entirely memoir, nor is it ‘biography’ in the accepted sense, and it also addresses wider social issues. She's started typing things out and she now has about 20,000
words and a provisional title Home is the Place.

She's arrived at this title by taking into consideration the idea that a catchy title for creative non-fiction should possibly use a quotation (perhaps from the book or a more famous quote) or a pun to catch the eye of the browsing buyer, or have some sort of interesting ambiguity about it. Home is the Place contains a saying, a pun (home is a place!) and is quite ambiguous; what does this writer mean by this?

As a novice in this field, Sarah Booksmith wants to practise the art of writing a proposal before she gets much further,  to consolidate some important issues, to help her further research and to test the publication waters. She's asking: 

What is my book about? 

Who will read it? 

How long is it? 

Have I found the perfect way to address my subject?

In the same way, you will need to research your proposal  as you researched the book idea itself. Try;

•  Checking out the competition by browsing bookshelves and Googling  the subject matter. Browse what Amazon has to offer. Don’t be disheartened if you discover similar books in the market place – but you may need to re-examine your approach.   If there are several recent books on your subject matter, ask yourself whether you’re jumping on a bandwagon. Fads fade so quickly your book may feel out of date even before its proposal is ready.Compiling a few statistics about your book, its subject matter and its readership.

• Quizing your local bookseller and librarian about your book – its theme, subject matter, structure and size. Would their customers buy or borrow it? Has the subject been covered recently in a similar way? Choose a quiet time of day to do this.

• Attending a writers’ conference. 

You’ll get the opportunity to talk to agents, editors and other writers in your genre about your book. Take your proposal with you, plus notes that will help focus your questions.

• Contacting publishers by phone. Without being pushy or irritating, ask their ‘front desk’ what they look for in a proposal.

Stop there, and ask yourself, how did that research go? Also ask yourself; 

• Does your CV looks a little thin in terms of your knowledge of the subject? Consider taking some relevant instruction – for instance, an intensive course – or shadowing an expert. Include this as evidence of credibility in a proposal.

• Do you have any writing history to your credit? Examine the possibility of writing articles, letters to the editor, guest blog posts or other publishable material to build up your writing credentials. Also start thinking about promoting your published work. Consider any of these:

• create a website or blog

• create a mailing list

• offer to take a workshop or give a talk (e.g. My Travels in Nepal) on your subject • offer to be interviewed by the local press or radio.

Spend a bit of time looking carefully at a published non-fiction book – perhaps one that you’ve read for your creative reading commentary – and thinking about what that writer’s proposal might have looked like. Then, if you feel ready, have a go at writing a proposal for your own life writing by attempting the following three exercises.

Writing your proposal - one

First:

•  make sure you have a working title
• outline the ideas you're writing about
• create a ‘blurb’

Create a sales pitch for your life writing.

Imagine that you’re at a writers’ conference. Someone has asked you what your book is about. Talk them through it, trying to convince. How would you describe it? You’re trying to be a credible advocate for your own writing so you must hold the listener’s interest. Record your sales pitch in your writing diary – maybe even learn it by heart.

Create a sound bite.

A sound bite is shorter than a sales pitch. Imagine you’ve got thirty seconds – and just a few words – to sum up the entire book. The sound bite is a verbal blurb that will get to the nub of the book quickly.

Try these out on your friends – see if they, at least, like the sound of your book.

Go right on to the end of the final proposal and write a memorable overview to complete your proposal.

But don’t simply repeat the introduction. Your overview is your chance to tie everything together and let your personality come to the fore. Remember, this is your final chance to leave a good impression on the reader.

 Writing a proposal Two

The body of the proposal contains the more difficult task of formulating a chapter summary. Start by listing your chapters and their titles (if you have them).

Try to take an objective view of your list. Are the chapters in a logical order? Have you repeated or missed anything? Will you need to group chapters into parts or divide chapters into subsections? If so, think about titles for these.

Take a fresh look at length. Sometimes, it’s only when the chapters are listed in this way that it becomes clear how long the book will be.

Take each chapter title in turn and formulate an outline for each one. Aim to sum up each chapter within a short paragraph. Now take this paragraph and reduce it to one line, using the skills you gained composing your sales pitch and sound bite.Save all this for future use, but don’t think of it as set in stone. If you need to make changes later, go ahead.

Practise writing out this section of your proposal.

 It should look something like the start of Sarah Booksmith's chapter analysis in her proposal:

Sarah Booksmith  

  Proposal for

 Home is the Place 

Part One

Begins with the scene of my own abandonment when my father left my mother and her three children. I was seven and the eldest. I pushed this memory to the back of my mind, but now explore it, then widen the debate.

Shows me at a low ebb in my young adult life. I don’t want to go for the interview at The Place. I want to pursue my intention to be a stand-up comedian, but I need the money.

I settle into the routine at The Place and get extremely fond of several of the clients. I have my first taste of investing emotion and effort into a person, only to have these rejected.

At this time in London, the plans for the massive protest over the poll tax were in the air and a lot of people at The Place – workers and clients – were involved. Until then, I hadn’t even thought about protesting.

Jane comes to work at The Place. She is like no one I have ever encountered. Naturally, I fall wildly in love with her.

Continue with your own proposal, perhaps in this personal vein, or in a slightly more technical or formal style if it suits your writing better. 

The Covering Letter

Send a covering letter with your proposal. Although this might seem like repeating yourself, it’s imperative that you do this. This will probably be your first contact with the publishing firm or agency. Even if you’ve been lucky enough previously to meet and talk to a representative, you should still write a covering letter, mentioning this previous encounter (see below). Your letter should include:

• your ‘sound bite’

• a brief resumé of your CV (who you are)

• any previous point of contact with the publisher

• title and genre of the book.

Format your covering letter as a one-page business letter, professional-looking and single-spaced.

Alternatively, you can write a query letter

A query letter, on the other hand, should arrive on an editor or agent’s desk alone. Don’t send it with a proposal, the point being that this letter enquires about the possibility of your sending a proposal at a later date. For this reason, it can be slightly more quirky and personalised than a covering letter. Allow your writing personality to emerge. However, your letter should still look professional, laid out in single-spacing and as brief as possible – no more than two pages.

This is Sarah’s query letter.

Anne Ortha

Director 

 Quick Fix Literary Agency Chance Street

London.

Date

Dear Ms Ortha

Home is the Place

I’d like to thank you in advance for reading this letter.

I am writing a book that details the life and times of a small London charity, The Place. I worked at The Place for almost ten years and I continue to be involved in their work as a Trustee.

Home is the Place is narrative non-fiction. It charts the story of the charity; the story of some of the homeless people it works with; the story of homelessness and its wider implications in London in the last thirty years; and, as narrator, it also involves some of my own story.

Now is the time for an overview of this subject. I believe I can deliver this with passion and precision.

As a writer I have credits in publications such as Metro and Free Tonight. I have also written for The Place on a number of occasions. Please don’t hesitate to ask for any of these pieces. I have a recent MA in Social Studies in which my dissertation was a broad examination of homelessness in London.

I have prepared a Proposal and would be grateful if you would consider reading it.

I’ve enjoyed several books from your imprint and feel Home is the Place would fit well within it. I look forward to hearing from you,

    Yours sincerely,

        Sarah Booksmith, MA

Draw up a timetable

Don’t use your research on the subject while you are drafting a proposal as an excuse to put off getting started or moving forward with the book. You may not discover areas you’ll need to delve into until your writing is well under way so write while you’re creating your proposal, and be influenced and informed by the research for the proposal. 

Take this opportunity to draw up a timetable of research work. 

Try putting specific research time aside – for instance, one evening a week to read and surf the net and one afternoon a week for visits to libraries, record offices, etc. Get going on this regime as soon as you can.

Having got a proposal underway, in the next blog on this subject, we'll look at just how research can help without getting out of hand or delaying the writing!

Maggie O'Farrell's The Marriage Portrait and the story of Robert Browning's "My Last Duchess"

That’s my last Duchess painted on the wall,

Looking as if she were alive.

Maggie O'Farrell

So begins Robert Brownings poem about Lucrezia, Duchess of Ferrata. 

She was just sixteen when she died, reportedly of putrid fever, just one year of she was married  and had been married for one year to Alfonso, the Duke of Ferrata. This true story was the inspiration for Maggie O'Farrell's latest novel. 

I loved her last novel Hamnet so much – you can find my short review here; https://kitchentablewriters.blogspot.com/2020/04/the-womans-prize-longlist-is-ready-for.html – but after winning acclaim and prizes for this story about the death of Will Shakespeare's son, I approached the new book in some trepidation, because, honestly, how could any writer achieve something as good as that a second time round? Okay, O'Harrell has been writing for years, and was recently feted for her autobiography, I am, I am, but I've known novelists stymied after achieving their greatest book yet. Hamnet was sensitively and beautifully and robustly written, andO'Farrell addressed this hidden story of Shakespeare's life with originality and vigour

The Marriage Portrait is also a forgotten story, but thanks to  Robert Browning (and the dust jacket, of course), 'the reader begins the book already knowing the central character will die by the end of it. Even if they haven't reads poem, or the blurb, the first paragraph the first chapter makes this plain. Sixteen year old Lucrezia sits across the dining table from her husband, and sudden realises she is doomed.

…it comes to her with a peculiar clarity, as if some colour glass has been moved from in front her eyes, or perhaps removed from them, that he intends to kill her. 

Lucrezia has been taken by her husband to a remote hunting lodge. No maid, no friends, just the two of them together. Very soon the the great painter, Il Bastianino, and his apprentices, will arrive, bringing the finished marriage portrait with them. Lucrezia is a painter of immense skill herself, but of course, she is also a 16th Century duchess, and will never have her work hung, sold, or even much admired. She is just a girl, and her only job is to supply her husband with sons. What she doesn't know is that, after her death, two further wives will also be unable to do that job, just as she, after a year of marriage, has not  – Alfonso is unable to have children.

This book cleverly mixes fiction with fact. Yes, Lucrezia did die, supposedly of a fever, in 1661, and perhaps we would have forgotten her but for Browning's poem. Regal ladies did have a terrible habit of dying young, especially if they displeased their husbands; Lucrezia's sister Isabella died, perhaps of strangling, just days after her cousin, Dianora died mysteriously at a villa in the Italian countryside.

The book opens only days before the murder, but then moves back and forth in time, weaving the previous story. We see Lucrezia's conception, her birth, and her childhood as the third daughter of Cosimo I de’ Medici, the ruler of Florence. We watch her grow, into a girl with huge spirit, a lover of animals and a blossoming artist – her parents allowed her to take lessons from the same grand artists as her brothers. 

O'Farrell represents Lucrezia's life, both as a child, locked away inside Florence's grandest Palazzo, guarded by guards and maids-in-waiting, and her year as Olfonso's wife, at his court in Ferrata, where her freedoms are just as thwarted and dangerous politics swirl about, only half understood by the teenager.

You may find, if you look at some of the reviews of this book, that some readers have found it wanting. The Guardian's Johanna Thomas-Corr comments on the present tense, which can become a bit wearing, I agree, but also thinks the book is:

"not nearly as horribly gripping as it ought to be, partly as O’Farrell refuses to say in one image what she can do in three…too much hospitality is shown to Lucrezia’s dreams…the symbolism of men as hunters, women as prey soon becomes overwrought."

Luckily, I read the book before I read the review, or I might have never bought this
beautifully crafted hardback edition. I beg to differ; the prose is steady and magnificent, and any repetition feels naturally how Lucrezia might feel and think five hundred years ago. The screws of tension begin to turn as the portrait is painted; Lucrezia meets Jacopo, the mute apprentice to 

The only actual portrait of
Lucrezia, at the age of 13

Il Bastianino, and they quickly form a deep attachment. Steadily, a possible way of escape is build into the story – but, how can Lucrezia take it? In history, she dies, trapped at the hunting lodge. In the fiction…well, you'll have to read the story to find out.

 Not only is there fiction in this novel, though. Robert Browning's poem (you can find it here https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/43768/my-last-duchess) only imagines a marriage portrait; in reality the only painting of Lucrezia was commissioned by her parents, when she was betrothed to Alfonso – with a dowry, it is said, of £50 million in today's currency.

Midsummer Reading – Books to read in the sun and places to read them.

What’s needed for a great holiday, or even a day off in the sun? 

• Parasol  — check
• Sunglasses — Check
• Chilled drink — check.
• Sunlounger — check
• Poolside. patio or beach — if you’re lucky
• Book — absolute essential.

I love the sun, but I’m no poolside babe;  my absolute favourites also include a sunny woodland glade, a the corner of a field, an isolated cove where the seals sing, a clifftop bench or possibly a street café in town, where you might get interrupted by passing friends. 

Mind you, living in Wales, my check list for a great afternoon’s reading usually includes warm slippers and a comfy fireside chair, even in summer!

While you’re working out where your favourite midsummer reading spot is, let me pass on my recommendations for some really varied summer reading. 

One way or another, I’ve been getting through a lot of very eclectic novels lately, and I’d love to share them with you. Some would make very good airport reads, some need at least a weekend on a beach and some may require the full length of a road trip,  Absorbing, puzzling, thrilling, funny, even shocking, these are my midsummer reads;

One for the Beach:

The Last House on Needless Street by Catriona Ward. 

Sometimes it’s hard to concentrate on your book on a beach.         It gets damp from the last swim and greasy from  tapas. Get up to play ball, and you can lose it in the sand. So what you need is something so gripping, so beguiling, so terrifying and so demanding that you never put it down.   

Ward has written a cracker of a psychological thriller here. In her long Afterward to the novel, she opens with ‘if you haven’t finished The Last House of Needless Street yet, please don’t read on — what follows is one long spoiler. 

This is because the mysteries that are set up in the first third of the novel will keep you guessing through the whole of it, even while you turn the pages in trepidation and fear for the lives of various characters. The most I can say is Ward has taken a psychiatric condition and immersed her story within it, so that nothing we see — nothing at all — is quite as it appears. With an uplifting ending and memorable characters, this gave me a very happy holiday.

One to Read in a Deep Wood:

Mythago Wood, by Robert Holdstock

Strange from the get go, this story is set shortly after the second world war. Steven has returned to his family home, after staying away until his disturbingly caustic father has died. But when he arrives, he finds his brother in the same sort of thrall to Ryhope, the ancient, wild wood that lies at the border of their house. 

In the woodland depths is a realm where mythic archetypes grow flesh and blood, where love and beauty haunt your dreams. It seems to promise freedom but hides insanity. Strange people begin emerging from the depths of the wood – green men types and Arthur knight types and Steven comes to believe that some have been created from the mind of his father. Some are deadly, but when he meets Guiwenneth, he falls in love with her ancient beauty. Eventually his brother arrives with a band of wild-men and captures her, taking her into the forest. Steven follows, trying to get past the invisible barriers that stop humans entering the mythago centre of the woods. He and a friend follow a stream that takes them past the barriers and into a mythic world.  This covers two bases; it's both fantasy and reality at the same time, and held me all the way through,. 

One for the hay-meadow, or the Village Summer Fête:

The Corn King and the Spring Queen by Naomi Mitchison. 

Written in 1931 but available in a 1998 imprint from Amazon, my copy, gifted by a thoughtful friend, is from 1935, and a delight in itself. 

The story is long and dense, woven of history and myth and stretches from the Black Sea to Greece and Egypt. Set among the Scythians on the Black Sea in the second century, the story feels modern and relevant, as well as filled with magic and the beauty of ancient times. Mitchison was a feminist, a political activist and a socialist and awarded the CBE, so she keeps her story of  seventeen-year-old Erif Der very relevant. Erif has witch powers and is set the task by her greedy father of bewitching, marrying, then dispatching, the king of the land. But she falls in love with Tarrik, who is the Corn King, and as Spring Queen she must be by his side when the rituals of sowing and harvest take place. Tarrik travels to meet Kleomenes, rebel king of Sparta, who fervently believes in a hedonist revolution. After his aunt tries to kill her,Erif Der follows and magics him out of a prisoner of war jail.  She takes revenge on her scheming father, although she cannot find it in her to hurt the aunt. The two lovers then join forces. This story is redolent with beauty, creativity, power, courage, forgiveness, the search for meaning, and self-sacrifice. It is complex but 

Strangely, then, I've read two books set by the Black Sea in the last few weeks:

One for the Café in Town:

Grey Bees, by Andrey Kurjiv  Translated by Boris Drayuk 

This novel isn't grey at all; it's politically red-hot — definitely one to read where people pass — you’ll be desperate to tell them about it and recommend it. Set in the neutral ‘grey zone’ between Russia and Ukraine during the 2014- 2021 conflict that exploded into war this year,  if features Sergey Sergeyich, a gentle, peace-loving beekeeper who lives alone in a Grey Village with no power and little food, but a surfeit of honey. No one can be trusted; there’s a Ukrainian soldier lying dead in the field at the bottom of his garden, and a mystery sniper who keeps an eye on all the goings-on. His wife has left with their daughter, along with everyone else. In fact the only other person in his village is his arch-enemy from their schooldays. But Sergey has such an honourable heart; he cannot even bear the idea that the children in the next village are missing their Christmas sweeties, which forces him to crawl, through the snow, in the middle of the night, to the soldier’s body.  To help his bees survive the lack of spring crops in the area, he goes on a road trip with a tent and trailer, camping out in forests. At first he drives into Ukraine, still at peace at that time, but some of the locals try to wreck his car and he heads to the sunshine of the Crimea, where he finds the Russians authorities are very threatening influence. He meets locals, sleeps with some sympathetic women and tries to get one woman’s husband, then her son, released from custody And all the time, he’s just not able, somehow or another, to phone his wife and daughter…

 One for the visit to a Roman Villa

The Golden Ass by Apuleius

Also set around the Hellenic, world before the start of the common era, but amazingly, written at that time, in Latin by a Roman, this is one raunchy tale. I was expecting a classically literate and erudite book,  but instead I was given a rollicking ride. Officially titled The Metamorphoses of Apuleius, Augustine of Hippo referred to it as The Golden Ass. It is the only ancient Roman novel in Latin to survive in its entirety.

Lucius cannot help but dabble in other people’s magic. While trying to perform a spell to transform into a bird, he is accidentally transformed into an donkey. This leads to a long journey, literal and metaphorical, filled with tales. He finally finds salvation through the intervention of the goddess Isis, whose cult he joins. The word ‘novel’ had not quite been invented at that time to mean a long fictional story, but this has to be one of the world’s first picaresque novels and a worthy pre-curser to books like Don Quixote. It’s a surprising read, although I did find the animal cruelty pretty hard to swallow, especially as it’s still going on in some parts of the world. 

One to Read on a Very Long Journey:

American Gods by Neil Gaiman – the author’s preferred text.

My copy of this book has almost 650 pages, and exclusive extra materials, including an interview with the author, in which he says “England has history, and America has geography.” 

Gaiman exploits that geography by sending his character, Shadow, on a road trip with old gods who expect a lot – sacrifice, worship, violence; all of the shadow side of humanity.

Shadow starts the novel as a convict and grows throughout it, reinventing  himself, just as countless emigres and exiles had done with the USA. 

What are you reading this summer?

Do let me know by adding your thoughts to this kitchentablewriters post.